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Jealousy Harming Your Married Relationship

If we make a list of common issues in marriages, jealousy might be in the top five. It is not limited to India. People from many countries get jealous when they THINK their partner is getting closer to someone else.

Is it harmful? Does it affect marriages?

Well, the answer isn’t as simple as you might think.

Let’s dig a little deeper.

Mild or even moderate jealousy is fine if you express it in a light-hearted manner. In fact, mild jealousy tells your partner that they are very important to you. But, if it becomes intense, things can go bad.

When someone becomes extremely jealous, he/she starts doubting the moves of his/her partner. Asking where they have been frequently is a common sign. It is also common to ask for the accounts of social media accounts. Or even a phone lock password.

Many couples don’t notice, but this is the seed of an unhealthy relationship. The seed grows into a thorny cactus that pricks the marriage in the long run. Little conflicts turn into ugly fights where some partners verbally abuse others. Yes, there are a few examples. Even if things don’t become so extreme, the chances of strained relationships are always high.

How to avoid being jealous?

Someone, the root of jealousy lies in low self-confidence. Many individuals feel they are not good enough to keep their partners with them. This is why they have a fear that someone else will “STEAL” their partner.

Avoid this by developing self-confidence. Accepting who you are is the first step in doing so. Keep a happy and positive environment without reflecting negative emotions. It is a human tendency to get attracted to such emotions. Your partner will surely be attracted to it. The feelings of jealousy will start shrinking. If you have a little doubt, share it with your partner. But, share it in such a manner that they don’t get angry or irritated. Add a tint of love and sweetness while talking. You can also tell them why you feel that way. Again, keep it light-hearted.

What to do when your partner is jealous?

For starters, don’t get defensive if your partner is showing signs of jealousy. It can hamper your marriage–something we have discussed above. Instead, respond calmly just like any other conversation. But, if it happens frequently, tell them you don’t appreciate such behavior. Do it in a calm and composed manner. You can say something like: “I understand you care for me. That you don’t want to lose me.”

Show them extra love. Make sure it is done genuinely. It can backfire if they notice that there is something unnatural in your behaviour.

Can a marriage counsellor help?

If handling one of these situations is getting difficult for you, you can hire a marriage counsellor. They listen to your situation, understand the personality of both, and then suggest you the best solution.